Weird Things in the Life of Mark

I check behind the Shower Curtain when I go in the bathroom.


I run up the stairs because I think someone is chasing me.


I change the channel when a scary commercial is on.


I try to watch ONE fan blade when the ceiling fan is on.


I sleep with my closet doors closed.


I don't sleep with my feet hanging off the bed because I think something is going to grab me.


I hate it when the seat-belt locks and I'm stuck.


I try to cross lanes without hitting the bumps when I drive.


I hold my breathe and turn back to see when I walk by a super pretty girl.


When I'm walking at school or something and then someone walks in my line like coming right at me so I have to plan which way I'm going to go, so I go right but then at that moment the person also goes right, so now it's like an awkward pause and then I finally get by them and im like "Like really...wow."


When I'm having a really Great Dream...and right before anything good happens some retard or something wakes me up...so I try to get my dream back by putting my self back in the situation I was in, but it never works...haha


When I'm enjoying Milk and Cookies...I hate it when I dip my cookie into the milky abyss and it gets so nice and soft that it breaks in half and it falls to the bottom of my cup...So I'm stuck with the dry crunchy part of the cookie...so I either get my hand all milky to retrieve the lost soldier....or i just wait till the end...


I hate it when I'm at the last sip or two of a nice drink...so I tip the cup...but I notice that all the ICE is just chilling at the top...then outta nowhere they all fall and hit me in the face..it never hurts but i always get scared...because I don't know when it's going to attack me...


I hate it when I walk through a spider web..because then I have to like peel off the invisible web that's on me. And then I think the spider is on me somewhere about to bite me...xD


I hate it when I try killing a bug but then it gets away...so then I think it's going to go get it's friends and come back to murder me....


I hate it when my arms or legs fall asleep because then they get all ticklish and you cant move them or its like super funny/painful/weird feeling...


When one side of my nose is stuffed ...so then I lay on the opposite side and the stuffiness shifts to the other side...and then right when it's in the middle...I hurry up and lay on my back...
And what is it that's clogging your nose? Like honestly???


You know when ur just sitting in church chilling...
and then u have to stand up and start singing... so ur like alright whatever I'll pretend im singing along...But then there's always that one person in the church that thinks they have to sing the song the best they ever had in their life...I mean your just standing there humming along not even paying attention and you got American Idol going on in the background...It's sad because I always look at the schedule and see where we are at in the service so I can see how close we are to getting out ...


I hate it when my hair gets caught in headphones, and then it like rips it out and it hurts...


I hate it when I'm trying to do something when looking at the mirror and it's all like backwards and then my arm gets tired.


I hate it when I'm chewing bubble gum and I blow the biggest bubble...and of course it pops, but then it's that kind of gum that sticks to your lips, and the only way to get it off is to like take the gum and like dab it on ur lips...


When I'm making that delicious Easy Mac..and after the 4 minutes in the microwave, the bowl is so hot, like it was just dipped into a volcano full of hot magma, and then I grab it anyway and run it over to the kitchen table while my hands burning off and I set it down and then I shake my hand furiously and make that weird sound that u make when u hurt a finger or ur hands...kinda like "ssssshhllhshhlshhhh" like a snake with an Elisp..like the sloppy S noise...


I hate how peanut butter ALWAYS gets on the handle of the knife...no matter how hard u try..it always gets up there


I hate trying to get off a shirt that's totally soaked in water, because it's all like sticking to you and it feels like your going to die, and when you get it off you totally just slam it on the ground and yell HeeeYAaaawwwww!


I always try and see what kind of animal a person looks like..it's a blasty blast!


In the shower:___I like to write my name in the foggy glass doors or mirrors always in a gangster way, but it ends up looking dumb.


I NEVER EVER shampoo with my eyes closed
because of the fact I fear that if I close my eyes then open them there will be a monster in my shower
so I just tilt my head down and shampoo really fast while using my peripheral vision I do close my eyes occasionally but not long enough for a monster to form and murder me.


Sometimes I do take the time to open my slider glass doors and check behind the curtains to make sure there's no murderer in the bathroom...


You know when your eyes are all used to the light in the bathroom and then you open the door and it's like pitch black and can't see anything, yeah I hate that
same thing at night when you go into the bathroom and turn on the lights and it hurts my eyes.


So like whenever I'm by myself and all alone, and something weird happens to me, like I stub my toe or trip and fall, I always suspect that there's ghosts watching me and laughing...like they set it up or something...then I just talk to myself..haha?


Ok, so like you know when u have to cook something in the microwave and say you only need to cook it for like 20 seconds...so you hit the minute button and tell yourself "Ohhh Ill just stop it at 40 seconds" but then you forget and you totally burn whatever you were cooking...same thing with the damn toaster...it always gets me...


Whenever I'm in a pool..I always think there's a shark and/or alligator chasing me right before I get out...


Whenever I'm in the hallway of a hotel and I'm alone...I always think a guy with a chainsaw is going to come out of nowhere and start chasing me...


Whenever I get a stuffy nose...and I can't breathe out of neither nostril...I always think about the movies, where someone gets tied up and their mouths duck-taped...I'm like if that happened to me I'd suffocate..and I wouldn't be able to tell the robber guy, but sometimes I even test it by covering my mouth and seeing if I can breathe...then I'm like...yup I'd be dead haha.


Whenever I try and lay across the car seat to take a nice nap...there's always that damn seat-belt buckle thing that just has to stab you in the back...then you check and see if it can rotate down or something...but it never works...it always manages to mess up your sleeping arrangement.


I never talk on the phone in a room that echoes...
solely because of the infamous Bathroom Echoe"
...you know exactly what I'm talking about...but sometimes you have to take the call, and even though you both know there's that echoe...you have to ignore it because you don't want to bring it up, so you're thinking...are you talking to me while your taking a dump?


I hate it when I'm texting someone...and I'm keying away with my cute little keyboard that's smack dab on my phone...and as I'm like half way through a long text...someone just has to text me...totally interrupting my text zone...(and you know what they say every time...its either a " hey " or a " whats up ")...so i hit the back button...but then it saves it as a damn draft and then I have to do excess finger work...and I get so frustrated...and I don't text the interrupter person back..I put them in timeout for a while...


I hate it when I cut a finger or part of a hand...and I pretty much don't mind it UNTIL...the dreaded shampoo phase of the shower process...so you have to do the one finger up shampoo and conditioning...it's right then, you realize how much you miss the good 'ole days when your finger was healthy...
:D


Next to an orgasm...or sneezing...I think one of the best feelings is when that little reserve of water, that just stays in your ear after a nice swim...or shower...unexpectedly pours out while your head is on a pillow...it's like greeeaattt ahhhhhhh.


You know when you have a sleep over..or your with a bunch of friends in a room...so eventually, you have to pick where your gonna sleep....and I know we all do this...we always pick the spot where we are the safest...sometimes we say it out loud or we keep it to ourselves...but I know what I do...I'm always like..."Well if the killer comes through the door...he'll kill Johnny first....so that'll give me enough time to run." And even if we don't get the spot we want...we tell ourselves..."Oh the killer will come through the window first, cuz that's what a smart murderer would do, and I'll run out the door while hes hacking little Chloe to pieces."
--maybe not that much in depth but you get the jist of it--


You know when your eating a good meal...and you get that little bone or little hard thing that just totally ruins your prime meal..so you have to isolate the little guy and bring him to the front of your mouth and spit him out...you think you got it...BUT you didn't..because you chew again and it's still there...and sooner or later you just get tired..and spit out the whole mouthful...


Sometimes, if I'm in an awkward position or location, I will literally act like I'm talking to someone on my cell phone...I'll have a full blown conversation with myself.


Don't you hate it when you stub your toe on one of the corners of your bed...there's always that jabby metal thing...or the wheel and it hurts.


I hate it when it's dark and I'm walking up stairs, and then I get to the top but I don't know it's the top so I step up into the air but there's not another step so I just like do some retarded walk thing and try to play it off like I knew it all along.


I hate it when I'm looking for two matching socks in my sock drawer...so I get a sock and set it to the side so I can look for another one that matches it. So I'm goin through all my socks and I seem to have every brand length and color there is..and I find one that looks the same but its not because there's a different color line or something. But then I do find another one that matches it, but in reality it's the same exact one as the one I put to the side cuz it got shuffled in the mix, so I get mad and end up just wearing two different socks


You know when your driving in your car right, and the two back windows are down or something and it starts making that wierd thumping noise in your ears, yeah I dislike that.


I hate when your talking on the phone and right as you hang up you hear the other person yell something like "oh and hey" or "wait" but you hang up. So you don't know whether to call back or if they will...and then you do get a hold of them and they're just like, oh nevermind...grinds my gears...


When you give someone you don't know that well a hug and instead of you both looking the other way, you both look the same way so your cheeks are like touching...haha those can be awkward.


you know like when your in the shower and the water spicket thing is spraying but there's that one area where it's not spraying so you put your hand as far up the part its not spraying until our hand finally gets wet...


I smell and touch everything..sometimes...lol


Sometimes I'll think of a word, and I'll just keep saying it over and over again until it sounds weird and then I'll ask how it's even a word because it sounds weird.


If I'm watching a scary movie, and the killer or bad guy doesn't die or go to jail at the ending of a movie I get scared because then I think I'm going to get murdered by him...or I'll have nightmares or something like he'll just randomly show up at my door.


I like to read the labels on every product I buy or want to purchase, I like to see how they try to persuade me to buy their product.


You know when your making toast or pop tarts...it's never fully cooked to your satisfaction after the first toast...so you're like yeah I'll toast it one more time, I just wont forget about it...but then you forget...and it burns...so you can either try and salvage the lost soul...or just start over.


When I'm driving on the highway or just going fast I like to put my hand out of the car and act like it's a spaceship, so I wave it around in the wind and test the aerodynamics of certain hand movements...


CoaCoa Dynobites, the generic version of CoaCoa Pebbles...are definitely not the same after you've just brushed your teeth. And as with all little cereals I hate it when you get the little rebel
pebbles who decide to stick on the side of the bowl instead of conforming with the rest of the herd in the milk...the spoon isn't a good rake!




So yeah that's all I have right now but if I find more activities or things I do in common day life I'll be sure to update it and post it.